you don’t realize something is missing until finding it changes everything.

i have spent the past six weeks jet-setting around america trying to define who i am to the man i love. days jam-packed with people and places that felt crucial to understanding me.

it is weird to date someone for a year and never have them meet your friends and family. never have them see the town you call home. never have them know what your memories look like. especially for someone like me. a person whose everything is the people that surround her.

week in los angeles.
thanksgiving in chicagoland.
few days in grand rapids.
quick tour of ann arbor.
couple hours in detroit.
back to chicagoland.
adventures with mutual friends in san diego.
week in portland.
snowboarding vacation in aspen and steamboat springs.
overnight in boulder.
back to chicagoland for christmas part one (including bears and hawks games)
day trip to janesville.
back to chicagoland for christmas part two.
and new year’s with his family in honolulu.

yes, we’re tired. no, we didn’t get to see everyone. i missed nashville and west virgina and new york and some chicagoans. some best friends only got a quick meal. and some spaces only got a quick minute.

but i feel better. i feel immensely better. i feel even better than i thought i would.

my two worlds finally collided, and they still fit together. they seem to fit together even more. every face has a name. every story has its space.

when you love someone, you want so badly for them to be a part of it all. to know the awesomeness of your childhood home. to know the hilarity that is your family dinners. to know the love you feel for the people you (hypothetically) call besties.

and now you know.
and i love you more.

maybe more is the wrong word. but i just feel complete. a more complete reflection of myself, of the life i lived, the love that made me who i am.

excuse my outpouring of emotion, but that’s what’s going on today. and lots of it.

the six weeks leading up to the new year were filled with so many of my favorite faces. i am grateful for each and every one of them. for the amazing family that i’m proud to call mine. for the faux families who have adopted me into their lives. for the long distance friendships who made time for a coffee. for the endless amounts of free guest rooms, couches, and floors that continuously give me a home. who knew showing someone else around my world would make me appreciate it that much more.

enjoy your new year. do something epic. then write me a letter about it.

if you need me, i’ll be sleeping in a costa rican hammock for a couple of months to recover from 2014. come visit. i’ll return the favor and let you sleep on my couch…